Blog
Natalie Serianni on Writing Your Personal Essay
by Writing Workshops Staff
A month ago
Many of us have that moment: it feels like a bolt or a jolt. A recognition in your brain that says, “I have to write this.” It happens when someone you love says the exact thing you’ve been thinking about. Or, you have a wild experience that you can’t stop thinking about. Or yes, you’re in the shower when the idea strikes. No matter where it hits, you get the itch. It’s an urge to write something, and very often the shape we’re thinking about, or want to use, is an essay.
But, many of us don’t know how to get started. Here are five questions that can guide you deeper into writing a personal essay:
1) What are you thinking about? What do you talk about/share with friends?
We don’t need to look far for material. People often think the essay is an abstract idea, but more often it’s what’s happening right in front of you. Or the thing you think about right before you fall asleep. What is lighting up the group chat, or keeping you awake at night? Maybe you’re about to drop your first born off at college. Or, you’re about to turn 25. Read in between these lines. Mine these experiences, and milestones and other areas of your life for what you're learning. These moments easily translate into essay ideas. Share what you’re thinking about.
2) What are you trying to understand? What are you curious about?
These could also be your current fascinations and obsessions. What would you like to see changed? Or, what can’t you do? Honesty and truth seeking can be great places to start; opinions, too, are side doors into getting started with an essay. Maybe you’re telling everyone about your weighted vest. Or, you can’t stop eating Boursin cheese, or watching Love Island. Often what we're wrestling with and obsessed about can lead to insightful pieces that connect with others. Writing through these curiosities isn’t about finding an answer, it’s about wrestling with your inner questions.
3) What is the story and the situation? And what are you really trying to say?
Often the things that happen to us also offer a deeper emotional story; knowing how to dig into the overlap can help you reach the crux. Think about Wild by Cheryl Strayed, and the physical and emotional journey of the narrator. Like many writers, there are many things happening to us all at once! Seeing the stakes, desires, and tension in our stories allow us to plumb the emotional depths to squeeze out meaning. Writing a personal essay becomes more than the story you tell your friends; it is you, writing through the story, making sense of your experience.
4) How can I frame this for others and bring them into my experience? This is the heavy lift of the essay: bringing the reader into our experience. But, it must be done. We have to go back to those moments, painful or joyful, inhabit them, and share grounding details that will transport a reader. The key elements of scene, summary, and reflection work together to bring your story to life. If we’re not specific, readers will squash our ideas with their own memories. Using these tools will further flesh out our stories.
5) What can I leave a reader with? Think about what you want the reader to know. You’ve told the story, now - what is the one thing you’ve come to say? Learning how to offer a reader takeaway is the difference between a good essay and a memorable one. You want your insight to be what others keep thinking about. You want to show transformation, and palpable change. Making the personal universal will help you write a compelling essay.
Writing a personal essay can be daunting, but excavating and examining our experiences can be powerful: to write, and process, and also to share– audiences are hungry for connection. They want to read your stories, I promise! Sharing your wisdom with others is just one of many ways we can make sense of what is around, and inside, us.
If you’re interested in learning more, I’d love to help. Sign up for my upcoming 4-week zoom class, Personal Essays for Non-writers and Newbies starting Tuesday, September 9th. We’ll talk about all of the above, read personal essays, engage in generative writing, and share our work. Let’s get started together!
Instructor Natalie Serianni is a Seattle-based writer, instructor, and mother of two with work at The New York Times, Huffpost, Insider, Scary Mommy, ParentMap, Jenny Mag, Motherwell, The Keepthings, The Manifest Station, and other publications. Her essay "Subtle Shifts," was in the recent anthology, The Pandemic Midlife Crisis: Gen X Women on the Brink. Her writing focuses on midlife parenting, nostalgia, and long-held grief.
