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The Art of Vulnerability: Thao Thai on Writing Intimate Scenes That Transform Stories
by Writing Workshops Staff
A month ago
Intimate scenes often feel gratuitous or awkwardly sanitized. But Thao Thai understands the true power of vulnerability on the page. The acclaimed author of Banyan Moon—the July 2023 Read with Jenna title, Barnes & Noble Discover Pick, and Book of the Month selection—crafts love scenes of profound human connection that illuminate character, advance plot, and reveal the deepest truths about desire, power, and intimacy.
Thai's unique perspective comes from embodying two literary personalities. Under her own name, she creates literary fiction that has appeared in the Los Angeles Review of Books, Southern Living, and Elle. As romance novelist Nora Nguyen, she's mastered the art of emotional satisfaction, with her debut named one of NPR's 2024 Best Books of the Year. This dual identity gives her an almost supernatural understanding of how intimate scenes function across genres, and why most writers struggle to get them right.
Now, Thai is sharing these hard-won insights in her upcoming Limbs & Longing: Writing Intimate Scenes That Move Stories Forward 3-Week Zoom Workshop, a masterclass limited to just eight writers. In this intimate setting, participants will dissect the emotional terrain of love scenes, examining how physical choreography, character interiority, and varied conflicts create moving scenes that build both character and narrative.
We caught up with Thai to discuss her approach to one of fiction's most challenging and essential elements—and discovered why her workshop might be exactly what contemporary literature needs.
Q&A: Thao Thai on Writing Intimate Scenes
Writing Workshops: Hi, Thao. Please introduce yourself to our audience.
Thao Thai: I'm Thao, a novelist and essayist who also writes romance novels under the pen name Nora Nguyen. As a writer and reader, I'm drawn to propulsive, character-centric work with a strong sense of place. I hold an MFA from The Ohio State University and an MA from the University of Chicago. Currently, I live in central Ohio with my family, where I can be found napping in the best nooks of my house, sewing, painting, and attempting to avoid social media.
Writing Workshops: What made you want to teach this specific class? Is it something you are focusing on in your own writing practice? Have you noticed a need to focus on this element of craft?
Thao Thai: As a lifelong reader of romance novels, I've always found love scenes challenging to master, yet imminently rewarding when an author gets it right. So much of our daily experience unfolds in how we exist within our bodies, and intimacy is another facet of this human experience. When executed thoughtfully, love scenes can reveal a multitude of conflicts, emotions, and stakes, but it can be difficult to find safe and nuanced ways to talk about writing sex and intimacy in a workshop setting. I'd like to explore the way we can apply craft techniques and literary analysis to micro-moments that often end up being the most powerful and memorable scenes within a piece of writing.
Writing Workshops: Give us a breakdown of how the course is going to go. What can the students expect? What is your favorite part about this class you've dreamed up?
Thao Thai: The class is divided into three portions: critical analysis, generative exercises, and workshopping. Each section of the course gives students a chance to study what works in published excerpts, then find ways to apply these skills to their own writing. I think it'll be illuminating for us to have a chance to study the mechanisms of intimacy operating in diverse samples, such as fanfic, romcom, classic literary fiction, and memoir. I'm looking forward to the discussion that will emerge from these close readings, and I'm eager to see how each student will use these craft techniques in their own work. Generative, in-class work can be pretty surprising sometimes, guiding us to avenues we might not explore on our own. Those flashes of inspiration are a delight to witness!
Writing Workshops: Who was your first literary crush?
Thao Thai: The first novelist whose books I devoured in sequence were Virginia Woolf's, in my latter years of high school. I began with Mrs. Dalloway, then read steadily through nearly everything she'd written, including her letters and journals. She had this tic of writing "v." instead of "very" and I adopted it immediately—I still do it v. often now!
Writing Workshops: What are you currently reading?
Thao Thai: I've just finished Victor LaValle's The Changeling, a chilling fantasy horror novel that reconstructs a dark fable for our modern times. Gritty and epic and very moving!
Writing Workshops: How do you choose what you're working on? When do you know it is the next thing you want to write all the way to THE END?
Thao Thai: My advice is to follow the obsession. When you're staying up late to think about a knotty plot point or you've begun to hear your protagonist's voice echoing in your brain at the grocery store, that's when you know the story is one you must tell. Don't write for the market. Don't write what you think will sell. Write your way to the weird corridors where only you can go. Write what's yours. The book I'm working on now has lived with me for over three years now and when I finally felt ready to commit to it, it was as if a path lit up in front of me. Don't settle for anything less than wholehearted passion when it comes to a project—after all, you're likely going to have to live with it for awhile!
Writing Workshops: Where do you find inspiration?
Thao Thai: Conversations with interesting people; art; movies; cultural anxieties; random internet rabbit holes; my daughter.
Writing Workshops: What is the best piece of writing wisdom you've received that you can pass along to our readers? How did it impact your work? Why has this advice stuck with you?
Thao Thai: "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader." (Robert Frost) Our readers are intuitive enough to know when a writer is neglecting to press deeper in a spot they need to, so it behooves us to inhabit our work authentically, investing in character, place, scene, and tension so that we can experience the entirety of our own work. Some writers find it easy to come to the page vulnerable; others, like me, have to tear down their own walls each and every time. Don't skip what's hard, because often, the hard bits are the truest ones in your work.
Writing Workshops: What is your favorite book to recommend on the craft of writing? Why this book?
Thao Thai: Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. This tidy volume is bracing and whimsical at the same time, offering a good reminder of the "why" as well as the "how."
Writing Workshops: Bonus question: What's your teaching vibe?
Thao Thai: I'm a structured teacher who values open dialogue, nuanced ideas, and respectful feedback. In my ideal workshop, we approach our colleagues with good faith and clear solutions, and bring as much care to others' work as we do our own. I maintain that writing is joyful work, but it is also hard work, and I'm excited to be in company with writers who want to do that hard work together.
Ready to Transform Your Writing?Thao Thai's insights into the craft of intimate scenes offer writers a rare opportunity to master one of fiction's most powerful tools. Her upcoming workshop promises to be more than just a writing class—it's a chance to explore the intersection of vulnerability, craft, and storytelling with one of today's most thoughtful voices.
Spaces are limited to just eight writers, ensuring personalized attention and meaningful feedback. If you're ready to move beyond surface-level romance to create intimate scenes that truly serve your story, join Thao Thai for Limbs & Longing: Writing Intimate Scenes That Move Stories Forward. Your characters—and your readers—will thank you.
